Nut Magnet

I am a nut magnet.  They always seem to find me.  It must be because I look wealthy or generous.  I am not, have never been and never will be wealthy so I guess that leaves generous.  I must have a kindly face.  They stop me wherever I go.  They usually ask me for money although a woman a few weeks ago rambled on so (talking about her kids and the Police and all other kinds of stuff that didn't make much sense) that I had no idea what she was really asking me.  When she finally came up for air mid-ramble, all I could think was, "what?!"  Then there was the drunken guy who kept asking me if he could ask a question.  I told him I was late and had to go.  Last night at the gas station, as I finished pumping gas, I heard, “Ma’am?  Ma’am?”  I stopped as I was climbing into the car to see what he wanted.  He told me he'd left his wallet in Leroy, NY, and he'd only managed to scrape up $1.25.  He then asked me if I knew where Attica State Prison was and said he was on his way south of there.  Why he chose that as a reference point, I have no idea.  It didn’t endear him to me at all.  He wanted to know if I could give him at least $3.00.  I told him I didn't carry cash (I don't) and shut the car door.  My favorite was the guy who reversed direction three times to follow me as I was walking to my car after work.  I caught him galloping along like he was riding a horse to catch up with me.  I ended up pushing the 'close door' button in the elevator in the ramp garage to keep him out.  See?  I am a nut magnet.  You'd think I was a squirrel or something with all the nuts I keep collecting!

SOURCE:  http://anwo.com/store/squirrel_toy.htm